


Fuck, Marry, Kill

by Heartithateyou



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: All fluff no feels, Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Cute, Fluff, Game Night, Getting Together, M/M, One Off, One Shot, Post-Avengers (2012), Random & Short, Randomness, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Stony - Freeform, Superhusbands, Superhusbands (Marvel), Sweet, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, all fluff, otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-15 00:16:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11219244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heartithateyou/pseuds/Heartithateyou
Summary: Game night at Avengers tower leads to a game of fuck, marry, kill.Too bad Tony knows exactly who he wants to fuck and marry.





	Fuck, Marry, Kill

“Come on Natasha, this is just ridiculous.” He says with an eye roll as he takes another sip of scotch.

They were gathered in the living room for one of their game nights, that usually involved way too many drinks and at least one broken game of monopoly.

This time it had been Thor that had smashed the board beyond recognition when he had landed on one of Bruce’s properties. One swing of the hammer and Monopoly was added to the shopping list for about the twentieth time.

So they had decided against playing anything else too competitive, especially with the way Thor’s nostrils were still flaring.

So Natasha, in her infinite wisdom had suggested they play Fuck, Marry, Kill.

“You’re just mad because you know you’re going to end up on people’s kill lists.” Natasha says with an eye roll as she takes another drink.

“That’s just mean. I’m sure I’ll end up one a few fuck lists as well.” He says with an eye wiggle and a smile that’s only slightly forced.

To be honest, he really wasn’t too keen on having to reveal his list. Sure, he could bullshit something together but if he had to come clean, it’d be fuck Steve Rogers, marry Steve Rogers, and kill… probably Natasha for suggesting this stupid game.

He’d just have to bullshit quickly through his turn and drink enough scotch to blur the pain of Steve revealing whoever he’d like to fuck and marry,

And wouldn’t that be fun. Ever since he got this rather embarrassing crush on the other man, he’d realized he had a jealous streak about a mile wide. He never thought he would be the type to be possessive, but apparently Steve Rogers was the exception.

Whenever he saw female fans in the street swooning over Steve and coming on to him, he had to grit his jaw and resist every urge in his body not to drag him away and show him who he really belonged to. He would get tension headaches from glaring at the SHIELD recruits who would flirt with him during debriefings. And every time Natasha talked about setting him up on a date, Tony had to lock himself away in the lab and sodder something into oblivion.

The worst part was, he knew he had not right to feel this way.

Even though every logical part of his brain argued he had no right to be this jealous, his heart was shouting at him to just do something about it already.

But then his brain started playing the slideshow of the many reasons why he shouldn’t ask Steve out and he felt dragged back into reality.

He wasn’t good at relationships. He was such good friends with Steve he was petrified of losing him. Steve was almost surely straight. He deserved so much better than Tony. He would probably fuck up everything if they ever tried to date. He’d ruin their friendship. He’d ruin the team.

So he shoved all those ugly, jealous thoughts back where they belonged and tried to ignore them the best he could.

Unfortunately, he knew this game would make his jealously rear its ugly head.

“Nah, you’re definitely the kill on my list. Fuck Coulson, marry Natasha,” Clint says with a cocky smile.

“Coulson? Really?” He asks with a snort.

“Hey, he has that hot older man thing going on. And I’ve seen him at the gym, he’s surprisingly agile.” Clint says with a knowing look.

“I… did not need to know that. I’ll go next. Marry Tony, Fuck Thor, and kill…. Fury.” Bruce says softly as he sips his wine.

“Aww thanks buddy! Our children would be robots.” Tony says with a laugh.

“You want to try to kill Fury?” Steve asks with a baffled expression.

“Go big or go home I guess.” Bruce says with a laugh and a shrug. Tony knew he was only half kidding and that Bruce still had some resentment towards the other man.

You don’t find out someone made a glass murder chamber for you and just get over it like that.

“I’ll go. Marry Clint, fuck Hill, murder Tony.” Natasha says slyly.

“Wow Natasha, that hurts.” He says, acting wounded.

“Nothing personal Stark.” She says with a wink, clearly knowing he can take her teasing.

“Hill, nice choice. I forgot about her…” Clint says narrowing his expression. “Nah, I’d still go Coulson.”

“You have many, many psychological issues that I worry about.” Tony says with a squint.

“Tony, why don’t you go next?” Natasha says deviously. He was half convinced she had some idea of a crush, even though she never came out and said anything, she always got a look on her face like she knew every dirty secret in his book.

Frickin spies.

“Uhhh kill Fury. I like the challenge that’d be involved and lets be honest, I’m still a little salty about him grounding me last week. I’d have to say fuck Natasha, I’ve seen you fight and I can only imagine the kind of moves you have in the bedroom.” He says with an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle. He took another sip of his drink and tried to buy time before his last answer.

“And marry?” Natasha prompts.

“Ughhhhh I’m not the marrying type.” Tony stalls. Honestly, who could he even say that would sound half convincing.

“Oh come on Stark, play along!” Clint says as he throws a skittle at him.

“Fine fine…. Marry Steve.” He utters, being honest in spite of himself.

The room is quiet for a moment before Steve asks quietly, “Me? Why?”

“You’d make a good husband. You’re loyal and dependable and I happen to know you can open any lid that’s stuck on.” He rambles, feeling a blush creep up slightly.

“Damn, he has a point. Sorry Nat, we might have to get a divorce.” Clint says with a laugh.

Luckily everyone just laughs off his answer and he tries to put on a smile. 

“My turn.” Steve says as he puts down his drink, “So kill, sorry I don’t know if I can pick anyone. Nothing personal, just not my style. As for fuck and marry, I pick Tony.” 

The room is dead quiet as everyone looks around at each other.

“Ughhhhh for fuck or marry?” Clint finally asks, finally breaking the silence.

“Both. He’s the only one I’d want to fuck or marry.” Steve says, his voice level as he looks straight at Tony.

He can’t look away from his stare, his blue eyes piercing into his. Looking at Steve, he knows that he truly means what he says and he isn’t joking around. Tony can’t laugh this off because this isn’t a game anymore.

“Same.” Tony says back softly, not breaking their gaze.

“Okay, well I say we’re all going to fuck off and leave you guys to… chat. Or fuck. Invite us back if you’re going to get married.” Clint says quickly as he ushers everyone out. He’s pretty sure Natasha gives him a look, but he can’t look away from Steve to be sure.

“Do you mean it?” Tony asks softly once the room is cleared.

“I do. Do you?” Steve asks, standing up and walking over to where he’s seated.

Steve leans down and kisses him softly on the lips, making Tony’s brain go fuzzy and his stomach flip.

“I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Feel free to leave comments!!


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